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Tree Stalking: An Epic Ficus Drive-By

At a Halloween party a couple weeks ago, the host, our friend Tom (winningly dressed as a 1930s lion tamer) told us we had to, had to, take a one-block detour to see one of the most spectacular ficus trees we would ever lay eyes on.

We did, and it was.

Maybe it isn’t quite Thiammamma Marrimanu, but this ficus is epic. It grows in the front yard of a house that appears to have been built/designed around the tree. We gasped. We gawked. We vowed to return.

When our friend Stephanie was in town, after a trip to the Self-Realization Fellowship Meditation Gardens, we took her and our friend Sam to see the splendor.

They were not sold at first.

RB: Hey, isn’t that ficus around here…?

C: Yeah, let’s go!

[High-five.]

[Tires screeching.]

Stephanie and Sam: Ugh, what?

Stephanie and Sam: You’re taking us to see…a tree?

RB: Hey, isn’t this the street?

C: No, it’s the next one. The next one!

C: Oh wait, no…you’re right.

[Car slows.]

RB and C: WOWWWWWW.

[Chorus of angels.]

Stephanie and Sam: “…”

Stephanie and Sam: Okay, now we get it.

[Scene.]

Here’s the thing: we don’t know what the exact species of ficus this is. We’re thinking of dropping a love note in the mailbox? Hopefully, there will be more to report soon…